The ‘Car’avan Life

It would be tepid to classify it as annoying! I am not merely annoyed; I am really, really appalled and disgusted. I’ve been sitting in the car since nearly two hours but my ride that began from my house in Gurgaon till my office in Jasola has still not ended.

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And this is a daily occurrence. The ride, which as per its distance should finish in about 45 minutes takes, almost three times of that time, notwithstanding the blaring horns, back-to-back vehicles, flaring tempers and alarmingly ascending pollution levels.

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What amazes me is that if the capital city and its suburbs, particularly the Delhi-Gurgaon stretch, has its traffic in such a knotty mess, what would the other parts of the country be dealing with? Particularly the fast upcoming smaller towns with rising disposable incomes translating into more cars per family member…

Mere lip service by the sarkaribabus will not accomplish anything. What is needed is solid plans and immediate implementation before we all choke under the collective combustible fumes emanating from the thousands of cars stranded daily on every possible connecting road of Delhi and NCR.

From a mere one and a half hours back and forth journey between home and office, I now spend nearly four to five hours and am seriously pondering on what all I can accomplish within the air-conditioned confines of my ‘car’avan during that time and trust me, my lower back is seriously aching and groaning in parts I did not even know existed in my body…God knows I am not getting any younger!

Actually, I am thinking of indulging in music and meditation during this never-ending daily commute and channelizing my inner Zen-goddess. Just ‘breathe in and breathe out’ to calm my frayed nerves to the soothing chants of a soft beat playing on my Ipad, and lower my rocketing blood pressure counts! Yes, that shall do the trick…

And that shall be followed by some self-administered chakra cleansing, you know for maintaining good health ‘inside out’ and pressing my pressure points to soothe that cramped back. Ouch!

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Whilst I am at it, I am also planning to carry some books in the car boot which have been lying unread for months and are on my ‘to do’ list. May as well resort to some real, heavy-duty reading and stimulate the body and mind…you get the picture, right?!

Let me confess that these extra five hours spent in the car have taken a real toll on my quality time with family and I have actually earned the ire of my loved ones. Heck! I have actually changed my lifestyle and am on the verge of being disowned by my family as I have started having breakfast and dinner both in my commutes to and fro from office. Recently, I also started doing my morning puja and eye make-up in the car itself in order to save another half hour and before my friends and acquaintances start scheduling appointments to meet me at various points of my Gurgaon-Delhi commute, I earnestly urge the policy makers to urgently look into this matter.

Err…should I download that latest ‘yoga in the car’ app to save another half hour from tomorrow onward as I am a firm believer of holistic beauty. I need yoga for flexibility and dew-fresh skin and yes, that app needs to be downloaded right now!

Wait a minute! Now these phone signals have also started playing truant and this downloading is slower than Vishwanathan Anand’s next move in a world class match…gosh these call drops and poor mobile signals, please don’t get me started! This will need another bout of fresh rants …

Meanwhile, I am simply going to chant for the next 20 minutes praying that the government officials wake up sooner than later and smell the coffee whilst I am visualizing a dandy Dev Anand serenading Tanuja and her friends driving their sexy Chevrolet convertible, in the evergreen ditty, “Yehdil, nahotabechaara…” on a virtually traffic-free road…yes A TRAFFIC-FREE ROAD! I am now day dreaming as well, such is the power of my meditation and positive affirmations…you get the feelingna?!

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